Leadership Isn’t Something You Are. It’s Something You Practice.

“The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born - that there is a genetic factor to leadership. That’s nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born.”  - Warren Bennis

I have recently gone back to playing golf after a very long break.

It is not going particularly well.

Some of that is physical. My swing and short game certainly need practice.

But I am increasingly aware that much of the problem sits between my ears.

One poor shot can affect the next. I start thinking about what might go wrong. I become too conscious of the mechanics. I am also worried about the other players behind me, who I may be holding up.

The harder I try to control the result, the less naturally I seem to play.

Golf, I am being reminded, has both an outer game and an inner game.

The outer game is visible: the swing, stance, technique, decisions, and repeated physical practice.

The inner game is less visible: mindset, attention, confidence, self-talk, and the way we respond when things do not go as planned.

Leadership is much the same.

We can learn leadership models, techniques, and skills. But the way we actually lead is shaped by both our inner game and our outer practice.

And, just like golf, knowing what good performance looks like is not the same as being able to consistently put it into practice.

How Our Thinking About Leadership Has Changed

For a long time, leadership was associated with a particular type of person.

The early “great man” view of leadership focused on powerful individuals who were believed to possess natural qualities that set them apart from everyone else.

Leaders were seen as exceptional people who were somehow born to lead.

Over time, our thinking shifted.

Researchers began exploring the traits, characteristics, and attributes that effective leaders appeared to share.

Were they more confident?

More decisive?

More intelligent?

More charismatic?

This contributed to our understanding of leadership. Yet it still focused primarily on the question:

What kind of person is a leader?

In golf terms, the focus was largely on the player.

Today, our understanding of leadership is much broader.

We increasingly recognise that leadership is not reserved for a small group of exceptional people. Nor is it automatically granted by a job title, senior position, or place in the organisational hierarchy.

Leadership is something we learn, develop, and practice.

From Position to Practice

For many years, the words leader and manager were closely associated with hierarchy.

The person at the top led. Others followed.

But the world of work has changed.

Businesses and organisations now operate in environments that are more connected, complex, and constantly changing.

Leaders do not have all the answers.

Expertise is distributed across teams.

People increasingly expect to contribute their thinking rather than simply follow instructions.

As our workplaces have evolved, so has our thinking about leadership.

Contemporary approaches now include ideas such as authentic leadership, which emphasises transparency, ethical behaviour, self-awareness, and genuine relationships with others.

Adaptive leadership focuses on mobilising people to tackle difficult challenges and thrive in changing circumstances.

Neuroleadership applies our growing understanding of the brain and human behaviour to the way we lead, communicate, make decisions, and support people through change.

Each approach gives us another lens through which to understand leadership.

But there has also been another important shift.

Rather than focusing only on the leader as an individual, we can look at leadership as a practice.

That is a significant change in perspective.

Instead of asking only:

“Am I a good leader?”

We can also ask:

“What am I practicing through the way I lead every day?”

Leadership Has an Inner and Outer Game

The outer game of leadership is what other people experience.

It is evident in the way we:

• Set direction and priorities
• Make decisions
• Communicate change
• Respond when something goes wrong
• Involve people in discussions
• Give feedback
• Handle disagreement
• Create accountability
• Recognise contribution
• Support people to grow

These are our visible leadership practices.

But behind those actions sits an inner game.

Our mindset influences how we interpret events.

Our self-awareness affects whether we notice our impact on others.

Our confidence can determine whether we step into a difficult conversation or avoid it.

Our assumptions can shape whether we genuinely listen or simply wait for an opportunity to provide our own answer.

Our emotional responses can influence how we behave when we are under pressure.

The inner game and outer game are connected.

A leader may know that delegation is important, but struggles to let go because they fear the work will not be done well enough.

A leader may understand the value of listening but become impatient when the pressure is on.

A leader may genuinely want to encourage people to speak openly, but react defensively when challenged.

Knowing what good leadership looks like is only part of the equation.

We also need to notice what is happening within us and how this influences what we repeatedly practice with others.

Leadership Happens in Everyday Moments

Leadership does not happen only in strategy meetings, presentations, or major organisational decisions.

It happens in everyday moments.

It happens in the meeting: you either genuinely listen or do not.

It happens when a mistake is made, and people watch how you respond.

It happens when priorities compete, and your people need clarity.

It happens when a difficult change is introduced, and people look to you for direction and confidence.

It happens in what you notice, what you reinforce, what you challenge, and what you allow to continue.

These moments may seem small.

But they recur.

Over time, our repeated practices shape how other people experience our leadership.

They also help shape the culture around us.

Just as one visit to the driving range does not transform a golf game, one leadership workshop, book, or good intention does not transform the way we lead.

Development happens through practice.

What do we repeatedly do when the pressure is on?

How do we respond after a mistake?

What habits return when we are tired, frustrated, or uncertain?

These moments often reveal both our inner game and our outer leadership practice.

Small Changes that Deliver Impact

A useful small change is to stop thinking of leadership only as a role you hold and to begin seeing it as something you practice.

At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on one leadership interaction.

Ask yourself:

What did I practice today through the way I led?

Perhaps you practiced clarity by helping someone understand what mattered most.

Perhaps you practiced curiosity by asking a question rather than immediately providing the answer.

Perhaps you practiced courage by addressing an issue that had been avoided.

Perhaps you practiced trust by giving someone greater ownership.

Or perhaps you noticed that you practiced impatience, control, avoidance, or a lack of listening.

The purpose is not to judge yourself harshly.

Leadership development requires awareness.

We cannot change practices we do not notice.

I am discovering that telling myself simply to “play better golf” is not particularly helpful.

I need to become more specific.

What is actually happening?

What am I thinking?

What changes when a shot goes badly?

What part of my practice needs attention?

Leadership development is similar.

“Be a better leader” is too vague.

Instead, notice one specific leadership practice you want to strengthen.

It might be:

• Asking one more question before offering your opinion
• Explaining the “why” behind a decision
• Giving someone greater ownership
• Recognising a contribution you might otherwise overlook
• Pausing before reacting under pressure
• Having a conversation you have been postponing.

Then practice it intentionally.

Small practices, repeated consistently, can have a significant impact on the people around us.

Impact Perspective

The evolution of leadership thinking offers an encouraging message.

We do not need to be born with a particular leadership personality.

We do not need to become a copy of a famous business leader.

And we do not need to wait until we hold a senior position before we begin to lead.

Leadership can be learned and developed.

But development requires more than knowledge.

The outer game of leadership is what others experience, our decisions, conversations, actions, habits, and behaviours.

The inner game influences how those practices show up, particularly when we are under pressure.

Effective leadership development, therefore, requires both.

We need to notice what is happening within us as we become more intentional about what we repeatedly practice with others.

This is also why no single leadership approach works in every situation.

The way we lead may need to change depending on the people involved, the context, the challenges being faced, and the outcomes required.

Sometimes people need clarity.

Sometimes they need support.

Sometimes they need to be challenged.

Sometimes the most effective leadership action is to step forward.

At other times, it is to step back and enable someone else to contribute.

Leadership development is not about discovering one perfect style.

It is about developing greater awareness of our inner game and becoming more intentional about our outer leadership practices.

Over time, those practices influence not only how others experience us.

They also shape the leader we are becoming.

Reflection Questions for Leaders

Take a few minutes to consider your own leadership:

• When you hear the word leader, what kind of person first comes to mind?
• Do you think of leadership primarily as a position, a personal quality, or a practice?
• What does the “outer game” of your leadership currently look like to others?
• What aspects of your inner game - mindset, confidence, assumptions, or emotional responses - influence how you lead?
• Which of your current leadership practices have a positive impact on others?
• Is there one practice you may need to reconsider or change?
• What leadership practice would you like to become more intentional about?

Small Change

Notice leadership as something you practice every day.

Big Impact

Become more intentional about both the inner game and the everyday actions, habits, and interactions that shape how others experience your leadership.

My golf game may take some time to recover.

I am being reminded, however, that improvement will not come from simply knowing what a good golf swing looks like.

It will come from paying attention to both the inner game and the outer practice and making small adjustments repeatedly. That means playing and practicing more often!

Leadership is much the same.

Perhaps the more useful question today is not:

“Do I have what it takes to be a leader?”

but:

“What am I practicing through the way I lead?”

For more small changes with impact buy the book: An Entrepreneur’s Guide: 7 Focus Areas to Align and Transform the Business

Lead effectively and live fully